Home

Well, it's good to be home.

...... and i think I'm pretty much done with the blogging stuff.
         
 Thanks to all of you who took the time to read my posts.

See ya!

A Day Worth Remembering...

 Wow.

Wow, wow, and wow.

                                     Yesterday was amazing.
                                                              Beyond amazing.

It started off with an early morning shower, followed by a two and a half hour car ride, an amazing vegetable breakfast omelet, and visiting relatives.

My gramma's cousin (my great aunt??? My great cousin? I don't quite get the whole family genealogy thing...) Jane Ann, has THE coolest house EVER.

After driving up a winding gravel road (bordered by dense trees, of course), we pulled into her driveway. We were immediately greeted by two large dogs (who I later learned were named Charlie and Olive) who welcomed us by barking, jumping at the windows, and promptly smothering us with licks and affectionate headbuts. A couple of cats came up to say hello as well.

Obviously, as you've probably already guessed, I'd already fallen in love with the place. =)

Jane Ann's house was a simple, one-story home (filled with horse and cowgirl memorabilia!!)
and even though it was in the middle of the country, it was clean and pretty modern looking. Jane Ann showed us some paintings she'd done (ohmygosh. She is AMAZING. Like, beyond professional!! i can't even describe it...) of the Oregon countryside - of mountains and valleys and forests and horses and people and.. UGH!! I was so jealous...

                        And then...
                                she showed us outside.

A huge backyard, green and neatly mowed, was spread out to end with a wall of wilderness and forest. A horse nickered at us from it's nearby pasture, and the dogs came bounding up to us again. Less than a hundred feet from the house were the horse stalls (which Mark - Jane Ann's carpenter husband, had built), complete with a hay loft. She had two goats, and her own chickens.

                                           *Pause*
                                                            *Imagine*
You wake up to a grey, overcast morning. It's cold, so you slip on your warm, wool-lined slippers (or Mukluks or Moccasins - whatever you see fit) and wander to the kitchen, still in your PJ's. You warm up a cup of your favorite tea in the microwave, and suddenly your stomach rumbles (you were out late with the horses the night before and were too tired to eat dinner before you went to bed). You open the fridge and select some mozzarella cheese and some veggies - asparagus, tomato, green and red peppers, and broccoli. You grab the pepper, salt, and garden-grown basil out of the cupboard.

Suddenly, you realize you don't have any eggs.

                     What do you do?

You step outside, hurry over to the chicken pen, and grab a couple of natural, farm-fresh eggs and use them to whip up a hot, scrumptious omelet.


   Gol, that sounds perfect to me.




Anyway. Back to reality.

   Jane Ann walked us down to another horse corral that was further away from the house. She introduced us to Hershey, my cousin Brooke's horse.

       And then she offered to let me ride him.

YES!!!! YES YES YES!!!

I was beyond happy, though I had no idea how to show it.

I helped Jane Ann brush down Hershey after she had lunged him and warmed him up, and then walked him down to the field (that was connected to her yard. UGH! So jealous...). I rode him around in the corral for a few minutes so we could get used to each other, then brought him out and rode around in the open. I was SO happy to get to go horseback riding (and I didn't even have to pay.... and I got to do my own thing, not follow a group!!!)


Here's a quick video that my gramma shot on her camera...it's kinda lame, so feel free to skip it... and I have no idea what my grampa and Jane Ann are talking about in the background... ;)

And here's one of me cantering... something that they won't ever let me do when I'm on a trail ride because of "liability purposes"... =P

After I got done riding (I didn't want to stop! My grampa says it was over an hour, but I swear, I thought it was WAY shorter than that... I dont know if I entirely believe him ;) ...), we brushed Hershey down again, then we all headed out to eat at the pier.
Here's a few pics...

   

We went down to the ocean, but only for a minute. I could have stayed for so much longer, but it was cold out, and we needed to start heading home. I had time to quick get some sand and water, but that was it. I couldn't even get any pictures... =( 

My gramma snapped this one quick (sorry for bugging you with all these pics. I'm trying to full up space) ;)

I grabbed whatever mental pictures I could, and then we all hopped in the car and drove back home. I was so tired that I fell asleep in the car...

 ...and I am going to sleep now.




I hope you all enjoyed this post. I think my words are back ;)












                                       (ps) I'm heading home tomorrow!!!! =D

Crater Lake

This is Crater Lake.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

It seems that up there in the mountains, all the colors are more vivid.

More real.

I think it's because so much of it is still wilderness.

It hasn't been soiled by humans, yet.

I hope

 that it will never be settled.
That we will never ruin it.

 

I hope that we will protect this. I feel like it's one of the last places in the U.S. that hasn't changed much since God made it.

Since He designed and created it.

It
is
precious.

Clear Lake

 

This is the first place we stopped at during our road trip on Tuesday. It was only a bathroom break, so we didn't stay for very long,

                                      but it was beautiful.

The water was literally crystal clear -so clear that you could make out the individual grains of sand 15 feet down. The deeper the water got, the more it's color changed. From golden brown, to bright green, to turquoise and midnight blue - yet it never got cloudy or blurred. It was always perfectly transparent (no wonder they named it Clear Lake).

I swear it looked like something out of a fantasy movie. I half expected a mermaid to pop up and start sunning herself on a rock. ;)

Title-less

I don't know when I am going to get access to Internet next, so I just wanted to put this out there...
We're heading out to Crater (sp?) Lake tomorrow morning - I can't wait! I hope we have Internet at the hotel we're staying at, because I know I will have TONS to talk about, and TONS of pictures to post. The last time I was out there, it was winter 7 years ago... But from what i remember, it was beautiful. I am super excited to be heading out there again...

As for this past week... well, I've just been chillin'. Hanging out with my gramma at the little community swimming pool, playing pool (the game) with my grampa, and watching movies with the family at night. We've walked around and explored the [little] neighborhood a bit, and I've made friends with the nearby cats (they come running to me when I walk by! They're so adorable!!!). =)

I'm wishing right now that I had some pictures to post... Just hang on a little bit longer!

At a loss for words

Sorry I haven't been writing. I don't really know how many of you actually look at this thing, but I know there are a couple... So I apologize to those few.

Lately I just haven't been writing... Not in my journal, not on my stories, and especially not on here... I pick up the pen, and the words just won't come. It's like they're stuck in a big ol' trunk in some dark corner of my mind... I try to move it, but it's just too heavy.

That's how I feel. Like there is just so much to write about that I can't write about it...

So please, I'm desperately asking you to be patient with me. Asking you to be patient with me while I try to be patient with myself.

Cuz it can be frustrating, these sort of moods...

Family Reunion!

So guess what?!?! My grandparents are coming out here in just a few hours!!! =D   It'll be nice to see them again... I mean, it's been over two weeks since I left, so it's only natural, right? ;)  The only thing that would make it perfect would be if my mom and stepdad and animals came out here, too..... and you know, a friend or two (or three or four or five) wouldn't be so bad, either ;)

Sorry I haven't been posting. I've been busy doing nothing.

And I gotta go! I've got packing and cleaning to do!

A step towards overcoming fear...

Yesterday was horrible...

                            But it was so good, too.

After spending the night at Danny's apartment, I was invited to go wake boarding with him and his friends the next morning.
                                                         
                                                 Yes!!!  I thought. I can't wait!




After a while, though, it occurred to me that I had no idea where we would be. Where was this boat trip going to be held? I suddenly got nervous.
                                   What if...
                                           What if it's on a lake? 

I asked, and was returned with this answer:
                                          "No, we'll be on a river."

Oh, okay. I thought, trying to reason with myself. It's a river. Not a lake. I can do that, right?

Then we drove over a bridge, and they pointed out the river to me.

Crap.    Crap crap crap.

I felt my stomach drop as I looked out at the water. For some reason I had been picturing a creek, not a river. I hadn't been thinking of a great expanse of deep water. I swallowed and tried to give myself a mental pep talk.

    (Which basically means I refused to think about it. Refused to think about anything involving that river-which-might-as-well-be-a-lake. I worried that if i thought about it too much, I would chicken out before I even got there.)




               *Side note* Anyone who's known me long enough knows that since the 5th grade I've  had a stupid, unreasonable, crazy, unbelievably real fear of swimming in lakes. I can't explain it, it's just there. Reason and logic have little weight when used to combat this kind of fear, and I often feel embarrassed and idiotic when I try to explain myself. I try to make light of it or downplay it so that people won't judge me...
               But please, believe me when I tell you,
                                                                      it terrifies me.




I sat in the passenger seat and looked out the window as Danny drove and chatted with his friends in the backseat. I was tense and overwhelmed with what I knew laid ahead of me, but I didn't want to back down.

We got to the river and met everyone. We all hopped in the boat and backed into the water, and then we were off.

okay. So far so good. Besides, if I decide not to do it, I can always back out...

I sat in the back of the boat and watched as the first person went. I figured that if I watched them and copied exactly what they did, I would be able to get out of the water fast, and then I'd be okay.



I can do this. I'm fairly good at snow boarding and skate boarding, so how hard can this be?

                                       -Way harder than I ever expected.-


Another person went, and my heart started hammering as I realized that I was next.
I can skip it. no one will care if I don't do it. I'm content to just sit on the boat and get some sun. Yeah, they'll understand.

I argued with myself.

I've got to do it. I'll never forgive myself if I don't. I'll always wonder what it would have been like... Plus, I don't want them to think I'm chicken...

I took a deep breath and dragged my hand in the water, trying to convince myself that that was no different than the rest of me being in the water. I looked around me and bit my lip in jealousy. No one else was scared. They were all laughing and talking and joking around, completely unaware that I was on the edge of my seat with anxiety.

The girl before me got done and pulled herself into the boat, and I suddenly felt sick. I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry. My stomach clenched tightly, I thought for a moment that I might puke.

"Are you ready?" Danny asked me. I offered him an uncertain, weak smile. Part of me wished that he would tell me it was okay if I didn't want to do it. Part of me wished someone would just throw me in so it would be over and done with. I turned and grabbed the life jacket from the girl as she worked on getting the board off her feet.

"Are you scared?" one of Danny's friends asked. I tried not to meet her eyes as I nodded and told her I was nervous.

Liar liar, pants on fire!

I actually remember that exact line running through my head when I told her that.

"Don't worry," the girl said as she handed me the board, a big smile on her face. I felt ashamed as I realized we were about the same age. "It's super fun. You'll get it in no time!"

Normally I would have felt some sort of friendly competition, some small ache inside that would have flared up and told me to try and do better than her...
                                    but all I felt was hopeless and humiliated.

I sat on the back of the boat and tried to strap myself into the board, but my hands felt numb and were shaking, and the girl had to help me with my second boot.

Then I sat on the boat and looked at the water, realizing that the moment had arrived. My heart was racing. It felt almost painful as it thumped against my chest. I held my breath and reached behind me for the rope bar.

This is it. I thought. There is no going back.I stood up, took another deep breath,

                                             And jumped.

As soon as I hit the water, any fear I'd been pushing back exploded. I heard Danny call out, "You okay?" and I managed a nod and a broken "Yeah". The boat started moving away, straightening out the rope.

My heart was beating super fast I felt my breath coming in shallow gasps. I've never hyperventilated before, but I knew that's what I was doing.


    


                  
                 Gol, just writing this is making me feel it all again.
                                             I keep having to take deep breaths to calm my heart...







I started begging God to let me get through this. To protect me and help me. I kept repeating the verse, "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of peace, love, and a sound mind".  I wanted more than anything to get out of the water and back into the boat. I wanted to call them back, but I my throat had closed.

Just get out of the water, just get up and out of the water.

I gripped the bar in front of me and pulled my knees to my chest, keeping my heels down like they told me. Danny was shouting something, but I couldn't hear him over my own raspy breathing.

Just get out of the water...

I nodded that I was ready, hoping that they could see it, because I couldn't talk.


GET OUT OF THE WATER!!!!


The motor started, and before I knew what was happening, I had let go of the bar in front of me.
My heart and mind screamed at me, and my entire body felt like it was pulsing.

The boat turned around and brought the bar back to me. They were telling me it was okay, and to try again, and giving me pointers, but I still couldn't make out their words. I was completely withdrawn into my mind, trying to regain control. My ragged breathing was just adding onto my stress, and I was scared if I didn't slow it down that I would pass out in the water.

I grabbed the bar and repositioned myself, then realized that my grip wasn't very strong. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't grab the shaft hard enough. It was as if I had lost control of my muscles, and it was yanked from my grasp again as the boat took off anew.

and this happened over and over and over and over.

I was glad that my face was wet, because more than once I was fighting tears of desperation and panic.

"My forearms are really weak," I commented once as they were bringing the bar back to me, thanking God that my voice came out stronger than I felt. I was calmer now, and no longer breathing fast.

But I was still frightened.

I think I nearly drowned with relief when they told me that I should come back in and let someone else go. I couldn't get to the boat or pull myself up fast enough. I got out of the water and pulled the board off my feet, then discarded the life jacket and helmet as well.

I'm never doing that again.

I felt like my whole body was shaking and I wearily plopped down on the seat. I felt depleted and disappointed. I had been wanting to try this for so long, and I couldn't even get out of the water. Part of me was embarrassed that I had wasted everyone's time and that they all thought I was scared of wake boarding, but I felt worse when I realized it was more logical to be afraid of that then to be afraid of the water itself.


I watched as Danny and another of his friends took a turn, and slowly my arms and legs stopped shaking, the adrenaline running out. I thought about how easy it looked, and I knew I could have done it if I had been somewhere else - like the ocean or something. I have good balance, and I'm stronger than most girls...

But that darn fear!

I hated it.

Not me, but the fear. I hated the fear.

When they asked me if I wanted to try again before we pulled in, I was hesitant to agree. Part of me wanted to, and part of me was desperately screaming, NO!

In the end, with some encouragement, I agreed, and somehow ended up in the water again.

This time, though, I was a bit more prepared. I slowed my breathing before it could really get going, and tried my best to concentrate. The first two times I lost the rope the same way I did previously, and I scolded myself as the boat had to come around.

I've got this! I can do this! I know what I'm doing wrong!

I gritted my teeth and gripped the bar as firmly as I could, my heart still beating fast.
                            I couldn't control that. It was always hammering...

I was able to get out of the water and up on the board 3 or 4 times, but I always lost my balance and fell shortly after.

I could hardly tell if it was any fun, being up on the surface of the water. If it was anything like snowboarding, I'm sure I would have liked it.

but I honestly - sadly - have to say that I didn't enjoy a single second of it.
                           
At the end of my turn, I got out of the water and waited once more for my body to stop shaking. I felt tears leak out of my eyes, but I faced the wind and let them dry up.




I haven't swam in a lake since just after 5th grade. This was the very first time I have been completely submerged since then. I've waded in the water - but never swam.

I like to think that I might try it again someday. That I might try and face my phobia again...

                 but it won't be for a while.
                        I don't know if I can take any more of it just yet.

I don't think I have ever felt fear like that. The kind that clouds your mind and makes you unable to think.  It's raw and undefined, illogical and unfounded. It comes from nowhere and everywhere, and you never realize how real it is until you actually feel it.

I think I still need time to fully appreciate what I put myself through - I can't figure out if I'm proud of myself, or disappointed that I still fear something so small.

But, I think that I've taken the first step in overcoming it.








And maybe, with God's help,
               
 
                                            someday I can beat this thing.
                

My new favorite resturaunt.

On Saturday night,  I went to the coolest restaurant ever.

It was made out of someone's old house, and was converted into this little hole-in-the-wall of awesomeness. We walked up the front porch steps and sauntered into the doorway to find ourselves in someone's entryway. To the right was the living room, and the dining room and den were ahead, separated by a small hallway.

Only instead of carpet and TVs and fancy couches and sofas, there were tables of every size and shape, wooden chairs, and wooden floors. It was dimly lit - bright so you could see clearly, but soft enough so make the air seem more personal and casual.

I followed Danny into the back, where we sat down at a low round table. I took a seat on a couch covered with blankets and pillows
                                                   and thought,
                                                              This is so cool!

While we were sitting there, a waitress came out of the kitchen, pushing the door open. Before the door could close, a cat suddenly burst from the opening. The waitress exclaimed something along the lines of, " Not again!" as the cat scampered into the company of us patrons. Everyone looked on, giggling good-naturedly, as the waitress tried to catch the kitty. It certainly was a fun sight as the tabby scuttled under tables and around chairs, her red collar jingling with each step.

The escapee was eventually caught and sentenced to the rest of the night in the company of the cook. =)



Danny's friends arrived, and we looked at our menus (which were faded pieces of paper that looked handwritten...). I couldn't decide between the Chai and the dessert of Frozen Lemon Mousse topped with Raspberries.... in the end i decided on the Chai.

                      But that wasn't good enough for Danny.
                                           And he ordered the Lemon Mousse for me.

The Chai was quite possibly the best tea I've ever had. It was served in a lackluster teal mug, topped with tons of flavorful froth. The hint of vanilla and herbs was delectable, and it was the perfect temperature - too hot to drink fast, but cool enough to sip without it burning your tongue.

The Frozen Lemon Mousse was great, too. Homemade that day, it was tart and zingy - but the added raspberries provided the perfect amount of sweetness.

While we were sitting there, we realized that our seemingly ordinary table wasn't so ordinary - it was slowly spinning in a circle! Gradually over time, things on the table would end up on the opposite side. It was so slow that you would never be able to tell unless you were looking extremely carefully.

We noticed about halfway through our stay that our spot wasn't the only special one - a little ways away, a couple suddenly jumped as their table shook and made a loud buzzing sound. They looked around as people turned to them, smiling knowingly. The young couple couldn't help but laugh as they announced,
                          "It wasn't us. Our table's haunted!"



From their under-water themed bathroom to their wire-rimmed coat hanger, this was by far the coolest restaurant I've ever been too.

It's just sad that I can't remember it's name =(

Portland state

We visited Portland State university yesterday. My cousin was kind enough to give me a tour of all the "important" places there (aka: nearby food carts, the library, the rec center, the lecture hall, a classroom or two, and the student hang-out areas).
                                      I really like it there.
     More than any other college I've visited so far, anyway (which is like, 3... so its not like I have a lot to go on... But still. It's in Portland Oregon, and that's a big bonus...).

There's gardens and parks all around, and while it's in the middle of the city, it's not all the hustle-and-bustle that's at the University of Minnesota (which I extremely dislike). It's a pretty cool building, and the campus spreads out about 5 blocks in every direction - so it's big. I can't decide if I like that or not...

While we were there, it really hit me how far away from home I would be. I wouldn't be able to just gradually ease myself into independent living - it would just be Wham!, you're on your own.

I'm really starting to consider getting my generals done, then heading out later (when i actually have a clue as to what I want to do...).

And.
I really want to check out University of Montana.

I am really starting to grasp the concept that you need to visit the campus to get a real feel of the college. Who knows? I might visit the U of Montana and absolutely hate it.
But I also might love it more than any other place I've visited yet.

It's kind of a scary thought... Like, what if I went to a college and spent all this money, and then wound up hating it? I mean, I don't think that would happen - I'm pretty good at taking what comes and making the best of it (I am not a pessimist, okay Mr. Johnson?) - but it's a nerve-racking thought.  I dont get frightened easily...


It's just that...

                            Growing up scares me.

                                                                              A lot.

Born free... Or at least, they should have been.

                    There's nothing that quite compares to a day at the zoo.


You've got all these animals - from the small meerkat to the long-necked giraffe - right in front of your eyes. Instead of having to traveling all over the world to see these amazing creatures, they've all been conveniently placed within walking distance.

But I admit.

I have conflicted feelings about Zoos.

Part of me loves the fact that I get to see these animals alive and moving, instead of stuffed or skinned. I love how I can watch them in action... The way their muscles move and the way they flick their tails and the way they sway when they walk. I love studying the slopes of their back, the way their ears curve, and the way their feet are shaped. I could easily sit in front of a single exhibit for an hour, just watching an animal.

                           But I can't help but think,
                                          this isn't their home.




I get this burst of sadness, knowing these animals will never know true freedom. They've been taken from their natural habitat and put on display for the entertainment of humans.

Granted, they'll never have to hunt for their food again.
They'll never have to worry about being killed by another predator.
They get to live a much longer life then that of their wild counterparts.

But... Is it really living? Are they happy with their captivity?

Most of these animals were either born in the company of humans, or were saved from injury or disease and were unable to be released back into their primitive habitat.

So we're doing them a favor, right?

Yeah. They're in captivity for their own good. We're trying to help them. We're doing what's best for them.

But the truth is, we wouldn't have to take care of these animals in captivity if we would take care of them in the wild.




We cut down their forests. We take away their food supply. We invade their territory. We kill them for killing our sheep, even though we're the ones responsible for their starvation. We poach them for their beautiful coats. We kill them because we label them as pests.


                                      We kill them because they intimidate us.
                             We kill them because they are powerful and mighty.                               
                                  We kill them because they are wild and free.
                               
                             


I fear that one day, the only way we will be able to view these alluring and magnificent creatures is behind glass windows and fences.




If that ever happened...

                    It would be sick.







                               And incredibly, unbelievably sad.

Wonderful Relaxation

So here I am, back to blogging my day-by-day experiences by popular demand (I really had no idea you people were actually reading these boring old things!)

Today was a pretty mellow day, as was the day  before. I was so tired from being on the go-go-go, that it feels pretty great to just kick back and do nothing. Watching movies, writing stories, sketching pictures... The only thing I'm craving right now is my acrylic paints and my canvas... =P

I went for a walk with my Aunt the other day... It was so cool. All we had to do was step outside the house and walk around the neighborhood. We didn't have to go to a lake or a flower garden to find some scenery to keep us entertained - beauty was already everywhere.

We walked and walked, and I marveled and marveled. There were mountains in the distance and trees scattered everywhere.

We walked some more.

We walked so much that I thought my legs were gonna fall off. We walked up and down hills, around ponds, and in the street. We kept the same fast, steady pace throughout the entire time. I thought for sure we had gone for at least 7 miles...

Imagine my surprise when I found out it was only 4.

Golly, I'm really out of shape. That evening, my legs felt like half cooked noodles! My basketball coach would be disappointed... =(

Jump!

Okay.

                                                  *Picture this*

           There's a waterfall.
 35 feet tall with thousands of gallons of rushing water going over the edge every second.
           There's a ledge.
 It's right next to the waterfall. Slick and smooth.

            There's me.
Me and my impulsive self.

             People are too chicken to jump. They're scared the water would be too cold. They're scared of the drop. They're scared there might be rocks at the bottom.

             I think to myself, why not? 
                                             Que pasa no?

Before I know it, I'm volunteering to jump.

                                            

             I splash through some freezing water to get to the ledge. Danny tries to tell me something, but I can't really hear him over the rushing water.
                "What?!" I call out. He repeats what he said before, and I just barely make out a muffled "jump far".
                 I look over the edge. The fact that my glasses were off made the jump seem even farther down. I take a step back, then push myself forward and leap into the air.

           Just as i jumped, I heard one of Danny's friends yell, "No wait, no no no!!!", but it was too late.

                   I felt the rush of the fall, the adrenaline, and I couldn't help but let out a small yell as I tumbled downward through space.

                  Then I hit the water.

                 The shock of the cold almost made me loose my breath, and I scratched for the surface of the water. I blasted through the transparent covering and sucked in a deep breath of air, then waved to the people at the top of the falls to let them know I was okay.
                 

                Wanna see the actual jump?
                               We got it on video.

Okay.

               Fine.

                              I admit it.
So maybe the waterfall wasn't 35 feet and was more like 12, and maybe the yell I let out was more of a girly squeal (ya. I'm embarrassed.), and perhaps I over exaggerated a bit on the details...

               But I did get to jump off a waterfall. =)

                                           *so technically, the main fact was still true ;)

Punchbowl Falls

 So.
     Yesterday I went on a hike with Danny and some of his friends up to a place called Punchbowl Falls. We tromped through beautiful, tree-infested trails that were set on the ridges of cliffs (sometimes the trail was so slim that we had to walk single file, or risk falling off the edge). The scenery was gorgeous, and it reminded me of Eragon, or some medieval - type book (yep. That's me and my overactive imagination).

When we got to the falls, my mind was blown. I risked looking like a total dweeb as I tried to get some pictures... But they turned out pretty cool, so it was worth it.

Here's a glimpse at what I saw...

                

                     Pretty beautiful, huh?





36 hours...

Today was my first full day in Oregon.

I am probably going to say this in evey post....
                                                 But I really love it here =)

After some grocery shopping, I went for a 3 mile walk with Aunt Michelle. It's so cool, because you can just walk out the door and be in wonderful scenery. You dont have to go to some lake or something - beauty is just everywhere.

                                   *I'm really tired, so I'm not gonna blog much today. *

 We all went out to eat at this pizza place - only the wait was almost 2 hours, so we had to take a little stoll before we could get our food. Here's some pics I got... (I don't want to overwhelm anyone with pictures, so I'll try to only post a few a day...)







 

I thought that last one was kinda funny ;)

The pizza (when we finally got to eat it...) was pretty delicious. Overall, though, my favorite part was walking and talking with my family as we waited... =)

Okay. I really am too tired to write tonight, so here's a video Danny showed me that pretty much explains where I am right now, and what the people are like... And to be honest, it's not that far off! ;)
                                    -Enjoy!

Oregon = Home away from home.

Golly.

I've been here a grand total of 10 hours, and I'm already in love with this place.

The train pulled in around 12:45pm, and I had no idea if I was getting off at the right stop. Normally they anounce where we are, but this time they didn't. I just noticed that the man accross from me was grabbing his stuff to leave, and he had said he was going to Portland, too.

I started putting my stuff together, and I noticed a woman two seats in front of me on the other isle looking confused as I was. She turned to me.

"Is this Portland?" she asked. I gave her my best clueless face. "I have no idea," I told her. "But I'm assuming it is."

I grabbed my two backpacks, found my duffle bag, and stumbled very ungracefully off the train. Inside my head, I laughed. Hello Portland! Dont mind me, I'm from Minnesota... We have a gradeur all our own.I pulled my bag into the station and texted my cousin and aunt to let them know I'd arrived. While I waited five minutes for them to come, I pulled out my camera...



I'm here!

 

My aunt Michelle and cousin Danny wrapped me in hugs and threw my stuff into the back of the car, then we headed off for some brunch. I listened while they told me about all the amazing foods and shops and theatres and absolutely loved how, though it's been almost 7 years since I've been here last, it still felt like home.

We ate at this place called "Jam", and let me tell ya, the food was delicious. I got a special they were advertising - an omelet with sun dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, basil, and goat cheese. I wanted to eat it so fast, but forced myself to slow down and savor the taste. Man, it was good! =)

After that, we drove around a bit and they showed me a small glimpse of the scenery. Goodness, I loved it. It's just like Minneapolis, only wider spread, more of an artsy feel, and more foliage. You can drive for an hour in one direction and hit the ocean, or drive for an hour in the other direction and hit the mountains.

I think... that I would love to live here.

After we dropped Danny off at his apartment (which is SO cool...), auntie Michelle and I headed home. We hauled all my luggage in, and then I spent the next hour settling into my new room for the next month.

Then, of course, I hit the showers =)

Uncle Steve came home, and I listened with envy as he totally ripped out on his guitar in the next room. Hopefully I can squeeze some tips out of him... ;)

Danny came by and we all ate a delicious dinner of Trader Joe's garlic fries and grilled cheeseburgers with avocado and mayo (golly, I feel like I'm being spoiled...) ;)

After dinner, Danny taught us all how to play a game called "The Settlers of Catana". It's apparently really popular, though I've never heard of it... Auntie Michelle won. Now that I've caught on how to play, she might not be so lucky next time ;)

Yep... that's pretty much it. A full and wonderful day.

Some things…

I woke up this morning around 6:15 and couldn’t fall back asleep, so I quietly went down stairs to the bathroom to change clothes and get washed up.
Let me tell you something.
                   
                              I cannot wait to take a shower.

Anyway, I went back to my seat and looked out my window for a bit. Same dull scenery.
Or so I thought.
I sat there, watching the rolling hills and dull brown grass, and it occurred to me that this was actually beautiful. Our human eye likes variety – we like to see many different things in one picture, and we like things to be busy. When something is plain or dull, we tend to pass over it with dismissal.
But as I watched everything pass by, I noticed just how many different shades of brown and yellow the grass was. I saw the different textures, the patterns of the clouds, and the sizes of the hills. Where else could I see something like this?

We continued on, and I lost interest and watched an Alias.

We stopped in Pasco, Washington, and I got off the train and called my Gramma to let her know I was fine and that I had enough to eat. She told me to be on he lookout for some really gorgeous scenery, as I was approaching the Columbia River Gorge (I think that’s what it’s called, anyway…).

I got back on the train and we were off again. I glanced out my window now and again, but nothing seemed to have changed.

And then BANG!, it did.

One minute it was brown and hills, the next it was gold, blue, and cliffs. Out one window were these magnificent cliffs that were just begging me to run out and climb them, and out the other was this amazing stretch of blue lake (the Columbia River?). Green grass and small ponds bordered the bottom of the cliffs, and as I watched I saw a small deer bounding up the side of one of the slopes. It was so close that I could make out small stripes on its feet and hooves.

                                   Some things can really make me see God.
                                                   For me, it’s animals.

(Just a small side note, there.)

The conductor just made an announcement.
Apparently we won’t be getting to Portland until noon.

9:46am - August 20th

A bit of a scare…

I was able to fall back asleep last night around 2:00am. My slumber didn’t last long, though. About 4 in the morning, I felt the train stop and heard some people moving about. The conductor said something over the loud speaker, and because I wasn’t fully awake, I couldn’t make out what he said.
All I heard clearly were the words, "Portland" and "Please retrieve all belongings and baggage".

I was instantly awake, spurred by the thought that I might be missing my stop. I heard the stewardess coming down the isle, and I called out to her as she walked by my seat, but she must not have heard me, and she continued on.

I tried to calm my beating heart and reason with myself. I wasn’t supposed to get to Oregon until 10:30 this morning… I thought. Plus, Grampa did say something about a midnight car switch, where the train would break into two and go separate ways…I laid back down on my pillow, deciding to try and go back to sleep. I’ll be fine, I assured myself. Besides, the man across the isle from me has the same ticket as I do, and he’s not getting up to leave…
The next four or five times I awoke when the train stopped gave me the same jump, but as it turns out, I was right.
We don’t reach the actual Portland stop until 10:30 or so.

7:49 am - August 20th

A ride on the midnight train.

So here I am. Still on the train. We passed through Montana today, and let me tell ya, that state has a lot of hill. As in tons. I tried to pay attention to the scenery, but we must have passed through the deadest part, cuz all there was to look at was vast farmland. There were practically no trees. Nothing to decorate the countryside.



My first henna tattoo



It was kinda sad.

 Today was spent mucking about. I played with Henna (thank you Anna Carlson!), and I swear, I got the weirdest looks from people who passed by my seat.

I played with my hair and put a red and a gray wrap in - decorated with tons of beads and coins, of course. Once again – weird glances from onlookers.

I wrote 3 more pages to my never-going-to-be novel.

I journaled, worked on Miss. Sweazey’s summer reading (Romeo and Juliet. I mouthed the words as I read, and Shakespeare’s humor kept making me laugh. Guess what that got me??? If you guessed something I’ve already said, then you’re right ) ;)

Hmm… I ate dried mangos (the best food ever), beef jerky, and two apples.

Around 7:30pm, I began to get really tired. It was to be expected, considering I got the equivalent to about two hours of sleep last night. I figured, "I’ll just take a short nap. I couldn’t sleep last night, so why should that change now?"

Wrong.I was out like a light, and when I woke up, everything was black. What time is it? I wondered, reaching for my phone.

No signal.

No signal = no time.

It’s probably around 9 or 10, I figured. I grabbed my face wash, toothbrush, and hand towel and washed up in the sink. I came back upstairs and checked my phone again.

It was dead.
Okay, fine.
I pulled out my handy-dandy laptop…
                          … and came to find that it was 12:11.

All right, I wasn’t expecting that. I plugged in my phone, then checked it for a signal. I currently had one, and it said it was actually 11:11.

Riiiggghhhtttt… Montana is an hour behind. I knew that...

I had nothing better to do, so I figured I’d share my wonderfully exciting experience of being confused with you all.

Gol. I’m suddenly starving. But I already brushed my teeth! Poopy…

12:37 (which is really 11:37) - August 20th

Illumination…

Tossing and turning, switching positions and switching again. Cramped backs and cricked necks.
That was me last night.

I finally dozed off around 1 in the morning, and I’m actually really glad that it was a light sleep. If it would have been sound, I would have missed the thunderstorm at 4:30 in the morning.

It wasn’t even a thunderstorm. It was more of a lightning storm. Talk about a light show! It was cooler than any fire works presentation I’ve ever seen.

I woke up, not sure I’d ever fallen asleep, and suddenly I became aware of a continuous flash of light out my window. At first I thought it was another train passing us, but then I saw the black trees illuminated from the white sky.

Whoa, I thought. This is so cool!

I’ve never seen anything like it, and I’m not sure I can accurately depict a picture of it. It was as if with every flash of lightning, the darkness was peeled away, layer by layer. The sky would flash a dim white-gray, then suddenly a white flash, greater than the one before it, would make everything seem surreal – just for a moment.

If I listened hard, I could hear a deep, resonating sound, and for the first time I understood the term "rolling thunder". It was cooler than any drum I’ve heard, and I doubt the sound could ever be created synthetically.

I sat, curled up with my Mexico blanket, pillow, and stuffed animal (Silver!) and watched for about 15 minutes before the rain came. It was slow and light at first, just drizzling the window with tiny tap tap taps…

Then it came in waves. A million tiny tap tap taps turned into a loud chorus that would twitch from loud to quiet when queued to do so.

I watched and listened, squinting from a particularly bright flash.

"God, you’re amazing."I whispered that to the sky, a smile on my face. My heart felt like it was laughing.

I was listening to God’s symphony.

The sunrise the morning after

6:45 am - August 19th